


certainty.

by sillycharityx



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:13:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24305704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sillycharityx/pseuds/sillycharityx
Summary: Vanessa is certain.A twitter prompt that morphed into this little oneshot.
Relationships: Charity Dingle/Vanessa Woodfield
Comments: 3
Kudos: 77





	certainty.

She only popped in to see if Moses had left his wellies there. Slipping in through the back door she spots the red boots straight away under the coat rack. Wincing slightly she bends to retrieve them. The dull ache in her side was a constant reminder of what was living with her, and it made its presence even more known whenever she tried to do anything that involved bending. Caked in mud they were – the boots. Paddy mentioned something about a walk to feed the ducks when he dropped the boys home yesterday… That must be why, she thinks. She straightens up, rests her hand on the banister and takes a pause. She looks at the staircase.

Two mugs of tea…

Charity in her dressing gown…

_ ‘See you next time then yeah?’ _

She smiles. Oh how things have changed.

The ache eased as her smile grew. Charity really did help. Even a two year old memory had the power to lessen her pain ever so slightly.

She should probably thank Chas for entertaining the boys so brilliantly, she thinks, as she moves towards the door that leads into the pub.

‘She’s a braver woman than I am, that’s all I’m saying.’ Nicola’s voice somehow manoeuvres under the door. ‘You couldn’t pay me to leave my kids with her I tell you…’

Vanessa pauses.

‘They do live together Nicola – it’s the obvious solution.’ Chas’s tone is stern.

‘Yeah but it’s one thing living with someone and raising kids together… Another entirely to relinquish responsibility to a screw up like her full time.’

Vanessa can almost see the smug look on her face. She can hear it.

‘She’s got a point there.’ A nervous laugh accompanies his comment.

‘Wind your neck in Marlon.’

‘Look at it logically. The four kids she’s already got. Debbie moved to Scotland away from her… Ryan didn’t exist as far as any of us were aware for years… Noah got in all that trouble last year and nearly died at Christmas… At least Vanessa’s had an impact on how Moses is raised – he might at least have a chance.’ Nicola’s voice grew louder with each sentence.

‘It’s definitely an interesting choice. I mean Tracy lives in the village – why not give Johnny to her?’ Of course Brenda has an opinion on who should be raising Vanessa’s child. Of course she does.

‘Maybe we should leave Charity and Vanessa’s family life to them eh?’

‘Wise words Chas.’ Vanessa’s voice precedes her entrance – causing heads to snap up in her direction. ‘I’m curious though – do you all make a habit of discussing my private business between yourselves?’ Arms folded across her chest, as if protecting the little part of Charity she carries in her heart always, she comes to stand next to Chas. Her question is met with silence. ‘Oh come on now – don’t be shy. Speak up!’

No one dared say a word. They were silent. Nicola and Jimmy together at one of the tables… Brenda propping up the bar… Marlon stood the other side of Chas – head bowed.

‘To be clear – who I choose to look after my son has nothing to do with any of you. Charity and I have been to hell and back a few times these past couple of years. Together. We support each other and we root for each other. We’re a team.’ The certainty in her voice carried it across the room.

‘That’s funny – I could have sworn I overheard Charity saying something about you choosing Rhona the other day in here… Not very supportive is it?’

‘Niko…’ Jimmy warns.

Vanessa actually laughs at this.

‘In case you haven’t noticed Nicola our lives aren’t exactly a barrel of laughs at the minute. Yes – we’ve disagreed. We’ve argued. I’ve made a complete prat of myself in the process. You know what stayed certain throughout all of that? Charity’s unwavering support and care for our children.’ With eyes of steel she dares Nicola to make another comment. ‘She is Johnny’s mum. Irrespective of what might happen to me – that doesn’t change. She is his mum.’ She brings her arms closer around her body as the fear of the unknown creeps back.

‘Yes she is.’ Chas agrees, bringing her hand to Vanessa’s back. ‘What was it you wanted love?’

‘I just wanted to thank you again for looking after the boys while Charity came with me yesterday.’ Vanessa smiles at the landlady. Thankful for the change of pace.

‘If there’s anything you need Vanessa – you just have to ask. I know how wretched chemo can be.’ Brenda pipes up.

‘Actually Brenda – there is something.’ Vanessa smirks slightly. ‘If you could refrain from passing judgement on me and my family in future I would be really grateful. I know that’ll probably be hard for you but give it a try eh?’ She rounds the bar and heads for the door. Turning before she exits. ‘Actually that goes for you all. Like I said earlier – it’s none of your business. We deserve better than to have our lives scrutinised by hypocrites like you. Charity has been nothing short of incredible these past couple of months, but instead of noticing that you’re all stuck in the past. Maybe focus on your own problems instead of concerning yourselves so much with ours next time. Now if you’ll excuse me – I’m going home. To my family.’ 

Through the pub entrance she walks, a pair of red wellington boots in her hand – leaving a stunned silence in her wake.

Making the short journey back to her home takes longer than it should. She silently berates herself for letting the fire in her heart burn enough to ignore the vicious pain in her side. The memory of Nicola’s chastised face helps a little, but she’s still breathing heavier than she should be as she makes her way up the path. She’s met with sounds of laughter as she gets nearer. She pauses for the second time that day behind a closed door. Except instead of the coldness she felt earlier – this time it is pure warmth. Like the sun beating down above her has somehow made its way into her heart, soothing the fear and the anger. The mixture of Charity’s voice and the boy’s giggles is enough to bring tears to Vanessa’s eyes. She wonders what they’re doing… Imagining scenes of absolute carnage… Toys strewn across the room… She rolls her eyes and opens the door.

They’re sitting together, Johnny on her lap – Moses by her side.

‘He has knobbly knees, and turned out toes. And a poisonous wart at the end of his nose!’

Of course it’s the Gruffalo. She’s quiet as she enters – not wanting to disturb. Vanessa drops the red boots by the door and makes her way to the sofa, easing herself down. Charity glances up at her – intent on interrupting the story but Vanessa stops her with a gesture. Willing her to keep going. A faint blush appears on Charity’s cheeks but she continues. She gives it her all, different voices for each character, popping in little comments here and there... Asking the boys what they think. When the story ends she closes the book and pulls both boys in for a squeeze. They laugh out loud once more, squealing for her to stop, before escaping her clutches and running straight for the toy box in front of the TV.

‘Do I get one of those too?’ Vanessa asks, holding her arms out. Charity grins – shifting across the seat until she’s flush next to the smaller woman.

‘Like you even need to ask babe.’ She replies as she wraps her arms around Vanessa – holding her tight. ‘Did you find the boots?’ Charity questions. When Vanessa had announced half an hour ago she was going to find Moses’ wellington boots Charity wanted nothing more than to question her. To ask if it was a good idea to be going out while she felt so poorly. But she remained silent, offering a smile and an  _ okay babe _ instead.

‘Yeah I did – bottom of the stairs in the pub.’

‘Did you see Chas?’ Charity feels Vanessa nod against her shoulder in response. ‘She alright?’

Vanessa considers very briefly explaining what she overheard. But she can’t bring herself to. She can’t bear to see the deflated look she knows will appear on Charity’s face if she does. So instead she nods again.

‘Yeah she’s fine. I think I’ll head up for a little snooze if that’s alright though – who knew the pub was so far away eh?’ She tries to joke but Charity sees past the attempted humour. She sees the tired eyes, and she feels the heavy muscles. She knows Vanessa. Charity kisses her cheek and helps her to her feet.

‘Shall I bring you up a mug of tea?’

‘Please.’ Vanessa sighs, making her way up the stairs.

Charity goes about making the tea – getting two mugs and two tea bags. She’ll set the boys up with their tablets and keep Vanessa company she thinks…

She calls Sarah down and asks her to keep an eye on the rugrats for a bit.

Her phone vibrates in her back pocket.

_ Your Ness is quite something Charity. She’s a fighter. She’ll get through this. You all will. _

Charity reads the message from Chas again. Slightly confused… Vanessa only picked up a pair of boots… She makes a mental note to ask the other landlady what she means the next time she sees her.

Chas is right though, she thinks.

She puts the phone back in her pocket.

Her Ness is a fighter.

She makes the tea. 

She’ll get through this.

One with far too much milk.

They will get through this.

She picks up the mugs.

She’s almost certain.

She heads up the stairs.

To Vanessa.

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to @blondevanity on twitter for planting the seed.


End file.
